wow
Thursday, April 14, 2011

this is entry marks my decade post. looking back, i've started blogging when i was age 13 or so. its a been a long time coming.

this is future-george speaking, closing the temporal loop of the many questions i made with regards to the future then. this is george, over and out.

i'm in the midst of preparing for my year 1 finals and buckling under the overwhelming amount of stress, i decided to take a chill pill and came here to read some entries to keep myself focused and happy.

i hope some kind soul will revive ebloggy and operate it, bringing the site to greater heights. infact, i am contemplating on sending a shoutout to the owner or management team of ebloggy (if there's still any in this almost defunct site).

posted by george @ Thursday, April 14, 2011 9:45:16 AM, , links to this post


hello there
Sunday, December 05, 2010

hello

posted by george @ Sunday, December 05, 2010 10:05:10 AM, , links to this post


reservist!
Tuesday, March 16, 2010

my god.. my unit just sent me a security clearance form to fill up, which i believe they is a sign of things to come. looks like i'll be called back for reservist pretty soon, probably in may or something. not that i'm hating it, but its a little too soon that i am caught aback.

so to everyone out there. please thank me again for protecting our waters and giving you all the security to sleep soundly at night. is that understood?

i came across this comment in a forum..

"btw, all my friends that got to book out after their confinement period spend their time sleeping, and have to book in again. lol. well, its just really really tough and the ooc rate is really high. most octs, especially the midshipmen, (navy octs) have to endure having their sleep deprived everyday. the midshipmen are only allowed to sleep at 2am, and woken up by 5am."

time to sail again!


that is so true. however, i found out that.. i love the sun, sand and the sea. looks like i'll save up money to go for my powerboat license so i'll be able to cox a yatch in future. my aim, is ofcourse to be rich enough to buy a yatch first. yay.

posted by george @ Tuesday, March 16, 2010 8:34:55 AM, , links to this post


out of the box
Monday, March 08, 2010

thinking out of the box, something my teachers and educators that i have encountered have preached about. it was a paradigm shift in a way of thinking, in hopes to spark some creativity in our thoughts unrestrained by boundaries.

to me, the notion of having a box and to think outside of it is self-defeating and disastrous on our ability to think creatively. having a box only serves to confine you within the dimensions of the box. while the box might not be strictly in the cubic form as the form we have come to be familiar with. the box i'm referring to is simply, any confine of space that lacks the continuity and infiniteness. the implied notion of having a confine like this is debilitating one's creative energy and limits one's imagination from truly running free (and wild). your thoughts could only go that far before hitting the boundaries of the confinement.

to think outside of the box, is to project your thoughts beyond the limits of the confinements. but many may miss the point that, we are still limited by a non-contiguous boundary that connects the inside to the outside. and to break open that boundary requires another paradigm shift in our way of thinking. that is to view the box in another manner. to think outside of the box truly, will require tremendous amount of creative energy and seemingly having insurmountable odds in crossing that boundary. and to think out of the box in the general sense, is to view the box from the outside and having an overview of it. thus you can place your thoughts freely, within the box and outside of the box. viewing inside the box is just like the chinese proverb; your horizons and insights are only as deep as a frog that is looking at the sky from the bottom of a well. and unfortunately, you will have little or no chance at all to know what is going on outside of the box.

coming back, to be thinking out of the box, we need to have an overview of the box. imagine a box like an ethereal entity that you can see through and manipulate in any way. however, since we already have an overview of the box, why should there be a box in the first place?

our thoughts and imaginations are free running but our physical actions and creations we see are only adaptations (downsized) from our imaginations to fit the constraints of the real world (physical, bureaucracy, mental, social, economical, cultural...). there is no limit to our imagination and no limit to what our mind can come up with. using the sky as the limit doesn't even come remotely close to having no limit.

that is to say, if we think from the inside of the box (with the constraints in our mind) and then further downsize and adapt it for use in our world, there will not be brilliance or anything out of the world created. with an occasional genius, we might be able to translate the thought from the inside to the outside. however, this limits the overall creativity content of that thought.

however, when there is no box, that is when we can truly let our imaginations run wild and free. we can come out with mind blowing ideas and seeming absurd ideas that is way ahead of our time. then we adapt it to our world, wouldn't it be great? the crux of this; instead of thinking from inside the box and trying to shift it out of the box. remove the box, let your thoughts run. adapt and downsize the idea for physical usage by removing elements of fantasy and physical impossibility to make it feasible. just a food for thought.





posted by george @ Monday, March 08, 2010 4:26:25 AM, , links to this post


thought
Saturday, March 06, 2010

just before i head for dinner, i simply have to write this down before i forget it. i'll write more of it as the idea develops. as i was walking home, i pondered upon the basic question of how a skill is developed. not referencing from any published material or any library references. i came to an understanding, that in everything that is tangible or intangible, there is this skill level that is involved in it. sounds pretty idiot-proof but it is, the very essence of it.

learning or obtaining a skill is something you have to start by having interest in it or having the need for it. a person will first find it difficult at first, putting a great deal of mental effort in producing excellence with that skill. upon natural progression, a person will slowly progress in the skill level from introductory, beginner, intermediate, advance and expert. once you've attained an expert level proficiency on the skill, you'll have no difficulty in producing excellence with that particular skill. it will be second nature in yourself or some may call it, the subconscious. all these that i have talked about till this point is pretty much logical and any person who put some mental effort into it will arrive at a similar understanding and conclusion as well. however, what is even more important, is the spiritual understanding of a skill or something. it is the highest level that anyone can obtain. you will reach a level that looks down obtain the "something" in question and watch every part of it breathe and move, suddenly everything seems to become ONE. you have found THE WAY and you can simply take it apart and construct it back and forth with ease. creating something new and understanding it from its essence. this level of skill is something that is very very hard to attain, or may even be impossible to obtain. it is something very difficult to describe into words i know, but put it simply; you understand the whole thing spiritually from its essence as an entity. it is pure, unrestricted by any boundaries and simply... there is no box.

yes.. it is this level that i hope to achieve in things that i am most passionate about and the way i want to treat my life. understanding everything and finding "the way".

posted by george @ Saturday, March 06, 2010 11:06:37 AM, , links to this post


...
Thursday, March 04, 2010

after taking a long break from physically strenuous activities and cardio training to rest my leg injury, i think its time for me to resume training and get fit again.

instead of bulging muscles, i want to attain a lean physique that is strong yet agile. thinking of joining a MMA gym to do some light sparring and train myself in martial arts. that is the reason why i have been doing physical conditioning so my body can take the rigour of sparring with an opponent and take more blows. i need to start swimming regularly like the past again to keep my cardio fitness instead of running because of my leg injury. i have been thrusting my knuckles against every hard wooden surface i find to harden it and to induce micro fractures in my knuckle bones so it will recover to become even harder. i will let my opponents know that i have a damn brick in my punching gloves. i will punch them so hard that their relatives and ancestor will feel it.

i just packed my room this afternoon. this is to facilitate myself in the revision of work and stuffs to prepare for university. i want to start university with a 2 year head start. so i need to start studying. like now.


posted by george @ Thursday, March 04, 2010 2:14:28 PM, , links to this post


drug
Wednesday, March 03, 2010

today i woke up from a deep slumber which lasted a total of 16 hours. i slept at 11pm last night after feeling drowsy from the anti-itch drug that doctor prescribed me and i had a sound sleep all the way. i checked out the drug online and i realised apart from being an anti-histamine, it was a drug for anxiety disorder. more or less the drug helped me in sleeping soundly and keep my mind from tearing apart and losing sleep all this while. which is a good thing since i've been looking for sleeping pills in order to aid my sleep which i'm losing so often. there were days i couldn't sleep for 2 nights as many thoughts raced in my mind.

the second drug i was prescribed was a steroid cream, which suppresses my immune system's inflammatory response. it contains hydrocortisone. for those wondering what kind of disorder i've got. these drugs sound scary but, they are just drugs that help in my eczema. i've got a small patch of eczema (allergic to my metal belt buckle) on my lower abs area and it is preventing me from going swimming!

i went back to chr yesterday for a short while. it was a trip down memory lane as i walked through the corridors of my secondary school. i went back to collect a referee report from my dnt teacher for the purpose of scholarship application in nus. i went into the hod office and saw many familiar faces and my form teacher in sec4. i'll go back again pretty soon, just to visit the teachers when i'm free.

i need to pick myself up.


posted by george @ Wednesday, March 03, 2010 10:49:58 AM, , links to this post


0525H
Monday, March 01, 2010

in a last ditch attempt to readjust my sleep timings and body clock, i slept early yesterday and woke up at around 3am or so. thereafter, i just keep tossing and turning around with no avail to return into my slumber.

woke up and used the computer, got bored and started watching videos on youtube and all. then all of a sudden, a familiar sound i used to hear so often started playing again.

it was the sound of the alarm clock of my black casio wristwatch. i bought the wristwatch just the day before i entered the warriors hall of OCS. i always had a small compass attached to the wristwatch, but the compass was'nt for navigation purposes; it was my spiritual motivation and my sense of purpose as the compass pointed in the direction of home. to be frank, i get home sick pretty often and often late into the night, i will be standing alone at the balcony thinking of home. the time which the alarm clock always go off is at 0525H (read as zero five two five hotel - the military way of reading time), which is the time for wakey wakey. a navy tradition which goes back to the 13th century for waking up sailors in the morning for their daily duties. a sudden pang of nostalgia hit me, reminding me of the days back in OCS as a midshipman. 0525H is always the time i have to struggle to pull myself out of bed and drag my weary body and soul down to the parade square for mandatory morning exercise regime (standard 5 basic exercises and a 3km run), followed by a hardly palatable SAF breakfast in the cookhouse.

many may wonder why i am i always nostalgic of my days in the navy and im always talking about it and making reference to it. i do it because it was those days that help build my character and developed me into a better person amidst the tough training. it was so mentally and physically torturing that at times i simply wanted to throw in the towel and give up. however, through sheer grit and perserverence, i sailed through high seas and rough waters to attain my rank. through the countless sleepless nights and endless confinements, strong bonds were forged and memories were etched deeply in my mind. it is a chapter in my life i never want to forget and i am always proud to say i am from the navy.

but i was'nt feeling this proud all along. infact, it was the direct opposite when i first got my posting as a midshipman. my mind was filled with perception of being a garang platoon commander in the army, bashing through countless of jungles and knolls. then to me, being a naval officer was out of the question as it did not fit the image of being a super fit and super brave platoon commander i've always dreamed of. however, being young and childish at that point of time, i did not understand how special it was to be a naval officer.

well, back to the story, my first few days in the navy was pretty depressing as i struggled to come to terms with my new posting and tried to get out of it and wanted to return to the army. thankfully, i came to terms with it and adapted to it and eventually, i liked it more than anyone else. even though i like it alot, it would not be an ideal career for me to be a career naval officer hence i didn't sign on back then. i just didn't see myself being a regular naval officer commanding a ship and a fleet of battleships in the far future. i would say, navy gave me a chance to express myself freely and truly being who i am. i did many things which i didn't thought it was possible before. compared to my army and air force counterparts, i was trained in a very much different way.

there, i was able to hone my charisma and learnt how to be a refined gentlemen (believe it or not, at that point of time, i advocated a vulgarity-free speech). i learnt alot about organizing an activity and event for people and the necessary skills needed in the real world. it was a total different form of training methodology. during my free time, i was able to pursue different new things such as photography, video making, public speaking, performing to the masses, scripting a play to choreographing the screen sequence, cooking etc etc. it really trained me to be a holistically developed individual. apart from the necessary soldiering skills such as firing a gun and regimentation, the navy focused alot on self development though it wasn't clearly underlined in the course curriculum. to sum it up... all i can say is... i learnt a little about every damned thing you can think of believe it or not.

everything i learnt in the navy is deeply etched in me. people might think i am crazy because i am just a NSF, why should i care about the navy so much. to me, it was a life changing thing and it happened when i was at the crossroad of life at that point. even till now, whenever i'm at east coast park or the marina barrage, memories of sailing back and forth throughout the singapore straits always came back to me. to me, it was special and memorable, despite all the torturous confinements and unreasonable scoldings in the name of regimentation.

speaking of which, i guess reservist is coming soon for me. i really wonder what will be in store for me...










posted by george @ Monday, March 01, 2010 11:38:25 PM, , links to this post


update
Monday, March 01, 2010

alright. took a two month hiatus from working or anything that requires me to expend a considerable amount of energy. as of now, i feel extremely unproductive but then again, without this two months break i won't be able to read extensively and get my much needed rest. i quit my job simply because i felt i was burnt out; burnt out from the brunt of the responsibilities i held in my 1 year 10 month stint in NS. i really needed a good rest and a good break, allowing myself to set goals and rethink my aims for the decade. after all, this is the decade that is going to determine the man i am going to be for the rest of my life.

it is time to step up my pace in my search for another new job, to earn a decent pay and do some productive work. time to get some organisation into my life and start spending every hour fruitfully doing something meaningful or leading to something meaningful.

it is finally time to change my course in nus upon the release of a level results for the '91 batch of a level graduands and to apply for my nus/ocbc scholarship. i have finally made up my mind after 2 years of struggling to settle for the course i'm about to change to and decided to wholeheartedly stick to it and excel in it.

at the moment, i'm quite interested in learning taekwondo at a place near my home but i'd have to see for myself the conduct of the lessons before i jump into it and learn. after all, its been 9 years since i practiced any form of martial arts. i have been having these premonitions that i need to learn a martial art and sink my fist into somebody's face pretty soon. thats beside the point, but the main aim is definitely to use it as a form of physical exercise for both my mind and body; to honestly express myself through combative arts.

the date of matriculation is 2 Aug 2010 and its approximately 5 months from now till then. thereafter, i doubt i'll have any breaks that is as long as this in my life till retirement age. i will soon turn 21, when i have to exercise extreme discretion at making decisions in my own life as i am ultimately responsible for myself soon. for me, being in the navy before, the journey of life can be likened to planning and navigating out at sea. time to time, we have to plot on charts and take fixes in order to see where we are in life if not, course corrections would have to be made before collision becomes inevitable. we have to steer clear and be mindful of unseen dangers and influences that will impede and bring us further away from our purpose and aim. there are always unseen undersea currents that will cause us to drift out of the path we are traversing in, causing uncertainties in your own beliefs and doubting yourself. much like having a headmark, sternmark and other navigational aids at different legs of a sea journey, it is important to have different benchmarks set throughout your life and work towards it so you'll not stagnate and you'll keep on making progress. yet when we make progress, we should not forget our roots, our past and those that have helped us and made an impact in our lives.

with this entry, i shall herald the beginning of an exciting decade and i shall go about accomplishing each of my aim and achieve the most out of everything.

posted by george @ Monday, March 01, 2010 9:17:33 AM, , links to this post


work work
Tuesday, December 15, 2009

work work

posted by george @ Tuesday, December 15, 2009 8:54:52 AM, , links to this post